Conrad Johnson: On Faith

In October, Pastor Julie preached the sermon series Faith, Hope, and Love: These Three. Conrad Johnson, Clayton Carmon, and Pastor Eric shared their testimonies on faith, hope, and love, respectively. These testimonies are posted here for your reading and reflection.

On October 13, Conrad Johnson shared what Faith means to him. You can read his words below, and by continuing onto the website.

“Growing up, I believed I had everything figured out when it came to being a faithful Christian. After all, I prayed the Rosary, attended Mass, taught Vacation Bible School, and was an altar server. I even got to swing the burning incense at Easter Mass. What more could one do? My faith in Jesus Christ felt unshakable. But then came high school.”

Growing up, I believed I had everything figured out when it came to being a faithful Christian. After all, I prayed the Rosary, attended Mass, taught Vacation Bible School, and was an altar server. I even got to swing the burning incense at Easter Mass. What more could one do? My faith in Jesus Christ felt unshakable.

But then came high school. My family had just returned from Japan, where my father had been stationed. I was eager to dive back into my Christian identity, but something felt off. My relationship with God seemed to feel increasingly distant. The rituals that I once took immense pride in and brought me comfort began to feel cloistered, as if I was on the outside looking in. The homilies, which I had once embraced as my favorite part of the Mass, started as though they had no application to my everyday life. I didn’t feel like I was truly walking with a collection of believers who felt for me the way I believed God did. As a Roman Catholic, I believed that if I couldn’t connect with the Church I was raised in, then I couldn’t have a relationship with God at all. It felt as though being Catholic and being Christian were inseparable, and I feared that stepping away from my Catholicism would mean stepping away from my faith entirely. With that sense of fear and isolation, the light of my faith began to dim.

But, God called me back home in the most unexpected of ways, as He tends to do. It wasn’t dramatic like Paul’s conversion on the road to Damascus, nor was it as radical as Saint Francis of Assisi stripping naked in the town square. Rather, it came quietly through unexpected ways, like the subtle Christian references in the TV show Madam Secretary and a college class on the Latin American economy, which showed how central churches are to the lives of so many people. Slowly, I felt my soul come to thirst for God and a community to reconstruct my faith. But, it wasn’t until I moved to Washington, DC, that I found the courage to step back into a church.

From the moment I entered First Baptist, I’ve felt the love of Christ in this congregation and every interaction I’ve had here in a way I never had before. It was humbling and I knew that I had to be here. I truly believe this community takes seriously the Lord’s commands to sincerely love one another as they are. There’s a passage from Proverbs that has stuck with me for years, and I consider it a guiding light in my life: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” This church has made it easier for me to trust in the Lord and lean not on my own understanding.

To me, faith is synonymous with trust. I trust in Jesus Christ, and I especially endeavor to on days when He seems distant. It’s not easy, faith never is. But as I, and probably you too, have learned, faith is not a simple exercise. I wish I could put a bow on this story and tell all of you that I have fully grasped my faith. I’m still on that journey and I believe I will always be because that’s the essence of faith. But I’ve learned faith isn’t about having everything figured out, despite what I used to believe. Faith is a lifelong journey trusting that God’s always there, being with him, and holding fast to him in the face of uncertainty and doubt.